feb. 2019
Anno 02
Il Fiore Azzurro 8 novembre 2018

Accogliere le emozioni negative per sperimentare una gioia autentica

Siamo noi la locanda in cui vogliamo essere accolti (Rūmī)

Gialāl ad-Dīn Rūmī è stato un poeta di origine persiana vissuto nel XIII secolo, fondatore della confraternita sufi dei dervisci rotanti, monaci islamici che adottano un rituale di danza come via per raggiungere l’estasi mistica. In questo articolo, dopo l’introduzione, verrà presentata una sua famosa poesia intitolata “La locanda”. Molte delle “Poesie mistiche” di Rūmī nascono da una profonda conoscenza dell’animo umano, e per questo sono ancora attuali, possono vibrare e risuonare anche nel lettore contemporaneo. Come se i secoli che ci separano dalla loro stesura non abbiano avuto modo di scalfire la verità di quei versi. Tempo e spazio sono concetti concreti, ma anche relativi quando in gioco è l’essenza umana, così radicata nella storia, incarnata, ma mai riducibile a qualcosa di meramente materiale, misurabile nel qui ed ora della sua rappresentazione. Heidegger scriveva che l’Essere (Sein) è in realtà sempre un esser-ci (Dasein): noi non siamo solo degli enti, degli oggetti con una collocazione nel mondo, con un certo peso, altezza, ma siamo abitati anche da una dimensione che ci trascende e che non cessa di parlarci.

Partiamo da un dato: certamente la voce che ci giunge, in modo spesso inaspettato e involontario, non è sempre e subito piacevole. Humus, questa pagina culturale, nasce anche dal tentativo di un confronto onesto con la nostra realtà più profonda, senza rimuovere né negare nulla. Come Cremete, il protagonista della commedia di Terenzio intitolata Heautontimorumenos, anche noi vorremmo dire: homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto. Siamo uomini, nulla di ciò che riguarda l’umano ci è estraneo.

E cosa ci comunica, di cosa ci parla questa voce che ci trascende – nel senso che travalica i limiti fissati dal nostro controllo razionale – e che spesso ci disturba? Sì, spesso è proprio quella brutta sensazione che ci coglie la mattina, appena svegli, e che scacciamo subito perché il mondo ci chiede di essere efficienti e scattanti. Spesso finiamo per assecondare uno di quei diktat che la nostra società (una società fintamente tollerante, ma al contrario radicalmente violenta nei confronti dell’umano, come sosteneva Pasolini) ci impone: dobbiamo funzionare, non esistere. In questo modo la nostra giornata, però, è come se partisse da un qualcosa di inautentico, condizionando tutti i momenti e gli incontri successivi. In totale opposizione al mainstream, noi scegliamo qui, ora, di tornare alla nostra esistenza. Questo è sempre un grande atto di ribellione, di sana indisciplina, e non dovremmo mai dimenticarlo, anche quando ci dicono che in realtà la trasgressione consisterebbe nel comprarsi un paio di jeans strappati o una maglietta di marca con sopra scritto break the rules. La vera libertà, la vera trasgressione, quella che ci conduce oltre una legge oppressiva ma per liberarci davvero, in fondo nasce dal nostro essere onesti con noi stessi, mettendo al centro della nostra vita poche e semplici domande: come stiamo ora? E: cosa ci fa davvero essere felici?

Ora passiamo ai versi di Rūmī della poesia intitolata “La locanda”, e cerchiamo di gustare le parole senza finzioni e nemmeno proiettandole all’esterno, ma assimilandole dentro di noi, in ciò che accade nella nostra esperienza quotidiana. Qui infatti si parla proprio della persona umana, di noi:

L’essere umano è una locanda,
ogni mattina arriva qualcuno di nuovo.
Una gioia, una depressione, una meschinità,
qualche momento di consapevolezza arriva di tanto in tanto,
come un visitatore inatteso.
Dai il benvenuto a tutti, intrattienili tutti!
Anche se è una folla di dispiaceri
che devasta violenta la casa
spogliandola di tutto il mobilio,
lo stesso, tratta ogni ospite con onore:
potrebbe darsi che ti stia liberando
in vista di nuovi piaceri.
Ai pensieri tetri, alla vergogna, alla malizia,
vai incontro sulla porta ridendo,
e invitali a entrare.
Sii grato per tutto quel che arriva,
perché ogni cosa è stata mandata
come guida dell’aldilà
.

Rūmī inizia con il paragonare, attraverso una similitudine, l’essere umano ad una locanda che ogni mattina accoglie qualche nuovo avventore. Immaginiamo un luogo di passaggio, magari anche periferico, chissà, in una via buia e isolata, dove il locandiere non possa mai sapere chi stia per entrare. Nella locanda, chiunque arrivi viene effettivamente fatto entrare, perché è nella sua funzione e natura quella di accogliere i forestieri, i viandanti, anche se il locandiere non li conosce, e potrebbe in effetti lasciare entrare anche un ladro, senza nemmeno sospettarlo. Anche noi, se ci guardiamo onestamente, siamo costretti ad ammettere che la vita ci spinge sempre, e continuamente, ad aprirci, ad aprire le nostre porte. Siamo animali sociali, come scriveva Aristotele, e lo siamo che lo vogliamo o meno. Anche chi scelga di isolarsi dal mondo, non necessariamente in un eremo in montagna, ma magari in una delle tante “celle” che ormai costituiscono il tessuto sociale urbano, in qualche modo non è mai padrone in casa propria, deve fare i conti (e spesso in maniera anche più radicale!) con fantasmi, voci sconosciute che lo appellano, come da tempo ha rivelato la psicoanalisi. “Il nome dell’uomo è legione”, scriveva il mistico armeno Gurdjieff. Siamo sempre in dialogo con una dimensione altra, che sfugge al nostro dominio.

Se è vero quindi che anche noi, come scrive Rūmī, in fondo siamo una locanda, e cioè siamo continua-mente aperti al nuovo, a ciò che sopraggiunge, senza volerlo, che sia una sensazione piacevole o spiacevole, oppure un incontro inaspettato, e anche vero che la nostra reazione immediata è spesso quella di chiudere le finestre e le porte, possibilmente a doppia mandata, proprio per evitare questa possibilità! Il visitatore inatteso può essere “una gioia”, ma anche “una depressione” o “una meschinità”! Perché dovremmo accoglierlo? Siamo forse masochisti? Non è meglio chiuderci dentro, sigillare il nostro Io, tenere gli altri a distanza, scansare le sensazioni negative e preservarci dal rischio di qualcosa che minacci la nostra pretesa di controllo?

Come un riflesso ancestrale, o come la storia iscritta nelle nostre cellule da traumi e ferite dell’infanzia, replichiamo spesso un atteggiamento di totale chiusura nei confronti di quella “folla di dispiaceri” che talvolta compare, si affaccia alla nostra veglia diurna, e sembra metterci in pericolo. Qui è il caso di notare come nella stessa etimologia latina di esperienza (da experior) risieda la nozione di “pericolo”. L’esperienza, qualsiasi esperienza umana, è cioè sempre una prova attraverso cui passare, sia che ci appaia nei termini di qualcosa di negativo o di positivo. Molto probabilmente, fin da piccoli noi tutti siamo stati educati al rifiuto di ciò che ci turba: l’espressione della nostra rabbia o della nostra paura forse non erano consentite negli ambienti in cui siamo cresciuti. O, anche, ci arrivava il messaggio che per essere accettati dovevamo mostrarci insensibili a ciò che ci faceva sentire vulnerabili, forzando così in modo prematuro il nostro sviluppo emotivo, fingendo un controllo delle emozioni che in realtà le inibiva, le comprimeva in tensioni mentali e muscolari.

Rūmī, con i suoi versi, ci vuole suggerire che ora possiamo decidere di comportarci diversamente, ora siamo pronti a farlo. Ora possiamo scegliere di mollare la presa, lasciando andare questa pretesa di controllo, sotto la quale covano in realtà emozioni caotiche a cui nemmeno sappiamo più dare un nome, ma che rispuntano fuori quando l’ego abbassa la guardia (come la mattina appena svegli), aspettando di trovare la porta aperta. E cosa portano con sé queste emozioni, all’apparenza destabilizzanti e distruttive? Non lo sappiamo, non lo possiamo prevedere né calcolare, ma forse, per dare un senso al dolore e al malessere che talvolta proviamo, potremmo iniziare a credere che quel “qualcuno di nuovo” che arriva, non giunga per caso, che sia invece un ospite da accogliere con grazia, “con onore”, perché “potrebbe darsi che ti stia liberando in vista di nuovi piaceri”.

Possiamo provare a vivere così? Cosa abbiamo da perdere? Possiamo provare a “dire di sì” al viaggiatore che arriva, possiamo scegliere ora di fare la festa a quel viandante abbattuto, arrabbiato, disperato, sconfortato, che bussa alla nostra porta e forse non conosciamo ma che forse siamo un po’ anche noi, e che solo nel nostro abbraccio può finalmente sciogliere le proprie paure e iniziare a ridere di gioia con noi?

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di Filippo Tocci
Sono nato nel 1990 a Milano, città dove poi ho compiuto studi umanistici. Ho insegnato lingua e cultura italiana in Australia e attualmente lavoro nel settore educativo in Italia. Credo sia sempre più urgente una nuova visione per rilanciare il nostro anelito a una realizzazione più autentica